double take

Smoking ban in less than 2 hours!

I just got on the scale and I'm fucking 179!!!! WOOOT.

du du do doo do do do you'll never know

Okay so I had a lot of fun tonight! I just ended up sitting around for most of it though! It was fun to watch the people dance. I think this is something I really want to do. There weren't that many people there. That is comforting. I don't want to screw up in front of a lot of people. I guess they have all be in class for 4 weeks.

Where was I 4 weeks ago?!!? I wish I would have been doing the classes then. I'm going to work hard and try to catch up through some video lessons. I still think it might be hard though since I don't have a partner. I'm listening to All American Rejects right now; I was playing it earlier because I wanted to listen to Swing, Swing. It reminds me of freshman year of college in the fall. That year was one of the most fun of my life; with Ben, Matt, Jen, Cori, and Nanci. Whatever happened to those days? Going up to Jen's for rice crispies. Jen is so much my mom. Honestly she is.

When I have a girl question I call her. Yup. I tell her about most of the things going on in my life; except recently I haven't been able to talk to her. I won't be talking to her for a month either since she'll be in Rome.

I'm wild about this weekend. I'm kind of scared to get on the motorcycle with Matt. Last time I heard he took someone on it they went 90. O.o O RLY? YA RLY! NO WAI! Okay so I had to break out the owl eyes for that one. I told him that I couldn't die because I had to see this next season of Iowa Football. I guess if he did kill me it wouldn't be THAT bad. I'd just rather not go when I'm on a motorcycle. I just checked, and I am an organ donor. That reminds me of something that Amie posted on Facebook that made me cry. No joke. Here is the link, and you better watch the whole thing. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=rayofhope It is quite long, but well worth the watch. Grab your tissue, and dedicate a few minutes of your life so you might be able to help others.

Move Along is playing now. I think the New Found Glory song I shared last week (Hold my Hand) is really one of my favorites right now. It is such a "stick my head out the window and let the air rush through my hair and face" song. I like the wind in my face. It is one of my favorite things about summer. I don't like to use the air in the car; oh, and the back of the Cambus with the window open is amazing.

swing swing from the tangles of my heart

I wore my nerd shirt to the orientation panel. Burge was kind of mediocre. They didn't eve have trays! I guess I shouldn't expect too much after the flooding and all. The parents that I got to talk to were very nice. One of them was from Nebraska, and concerned about her daughter. It was kind of cute. I reassured her that she would be fine!

A lot of the other students answered the questions the same way I did. I tried to get a plug in for Phil because he helped me so much get my job for this summer. I hope they listened. I have to walk over to the FH in a bit to see what the Swing Dance Club is like. I'm excited for it.

I don't really know if I want to wear shorts or gym shorts. They said "loose" clothing. We'll find out soon enough I guess.

boneless buffalo wings

I got my books at the bookstore. I saw a gorgeous brunette there. She looked about my age too. I just opened my blinds and I can see the sunset. It isn't as beautiful as the one last night, but it is still fun. I like watching the sunset at the Old Capitol. I've been doing that all last week.

So they're releasing Diablo 3. It is a good thing. Guild Wars isn't as interesting as it used to be. My guess is Guild Wars 2 won't come out until 2010. Diablo 3 is already 4 years into the works. It is going to be fun to play. Steve texted me this morning saying "Diablo 3 was announced." I laughed. We had such good times playing that game together. I consider Steve one of my best friends. It has been hard for him lately; hopefully the Diablo 3 release will be a big homecoming.

My brother is sending me the trailer right now. I watched the cinematic with him last night, and we both trembled with excitement. I don't think I'm going to be playing video games as much as I used to. I find other things in life more exciting. Right now if a friend asks me to do something and I was planning on playing video games I change plans. I would much rather spend my time with people. Granted I play video games with people and we use VOIP it just isn't the same.

I have had great friends and met many people through video games. There was Martin, an Canadian restaurant owner; Steve a IT worker from Missouri; Dave and Loretta from the South; Carlos (Pidgeon) a computer store owner in Virginia; Tyler (Tyrous) a student from Tennessee; Jane a wonderful computer guru; L U B I a man from the middle east; Jim the guy who will hunt you down if you don't pay your credit card bills; Andrew tattoo extraordinaire; Craig architect from Minnesota; Jennifer from California; Sarah from Michigan; Michael an engineer from Wisconsin; Terry a Biologist from California. I know I forgot many people, but there are just so many that it is hard to list all my friends here. I must mention Jason though; he lives in Tennessee and is a wonderful father of three children. All these people have touched my life in some way, and the most interesting thing is that I have met none of them in person.

I know their stories, and they know mine. This world is a fascinating place. I'm glad to be a part of this day and age. Tomorrow I get to be on the student panel. I am really looking forward to it. I have to think of an interesting fact that not many know about me; last year I said, "I still sleep with my teddy bear." I can't really think of anything else, and most people know that by now so I probably shouldn't use it. I could try to be funny, but that is a tough one to pull. I think I'll stick to I've never broken a bone in my body. Sounds fair enough. I have more secrets though.

Oh, Jen never called me. This means I get to keep the flower on my counter. I like it (maybe that is why people think I'm gay). I find out about the swing dance club tomorrow too. I have to pick out what I'm going to wear. I think I'm going to wear one of my nerd shirts; then I can say, "This is what will happen to you if you stick in engineering; so switch to business before it is too late."

meh

So I guess I am eating at Burge on the 2nd as well. I was just looking over the email and I saw that I was on two days. Oh well. I guess I'll just get paid less this next week. I made another decision. I don't feel like writing about it. This whole thing is a mess.

I kind of want to fall asleep right now. Don't know why I started writing this. I could have saved it. I guess I wanted to tell you about the decision I made that I don't feel like telling you about. Funny how that is. Blarg.

so what have i got to prove

I need to make a playlist. I need to do a lot of things, but it is Sunday. Tomorrow should be interesting; like I already mentioned I get to eat at Burge again. I kind of wonder if they'll be serving something I like. I think I will refrain from checking the website such that I can be surprised. I have to also not eat a lot. Yikes, that is going to be a tough thing to do.

I want to go to Barnes and Noble today to get a book. I hope they have it. I am kind of excited for it. I have always had this sort of hobby (if you'll call it that), and I think now I've decided to expand it.

I was thinking more about what I wrote last night. I think that it is true. If either of us do anything along those lines without being committed to someone it just wasn't meant to be. I think I can accept that.

I downloaded Nanci's favorite song right now. I liked it! I think she would really like Taylor Swift's Teardrops on My Guitar. I think it kind of might be how she feels right now. She will get through it; I know she will. She is strong. Here is her song:



I was listening to the rest of the album, and I found one that describes how I feel right now. I don't know if I want to share it or not. I kind of do, but I don't at the same time. I guess I'll hold back. If you really want to hear the song you can e-mail me, or message me on AIM.

like an air conditioning vent

So I've been doing some thinking. It has been a week and all, and I think that everything that has happened in my life has been positive.

I completed my assignment Thursday night, and I feel like now explaining what it was. My assignment was to go up to a girl I thought was interesting and talk to her. I did it; nothing happened from it, but I really wasn't nervous if it worked out or not. She was cute. All her friends were kind of humored that someone came up to her and hit on her. I kind of wonder what the situation was. Obviously they knew more about it than I did. She had her panties in a bunch all night, but she was the cutest I saw.

Glad I did it. I don't really feel any different about it, but I did it. Baby steps. The other part of my assignment was completed awhile ago. It was to look up clubs I would like to join. I am going to go to the Swing Dance Club's lessons on Monday night.

It has been a long time since I've talked to Alison. I think I've made a decision about it all. I think if she does something that would ruin anything special we had it would be extremely tough to give her a second chance. I don't know the situation she is in, but I do know what she said to me (and discussed with her mom) about the situation. I know where my values are, and I know that I am not going to do anything stupid or to make her jealous. I also know I wouldn't take her back instataneously right now, a month from now, or anytime in the future. I think the decision would take time, and I would truly have to think if "this is what is best for me."

I have also been thinking about this summer. I think it is going to be a large learning experience for me. I think that I'm going to fail quite a bit, get my face dragged through the mud, and feel like there is never going to be a way out. Hopefully my skin will become thicker, and I'll be more confident in my abilities across the board.

There are a few things that I have learned about myself:

• I enjoy doing things for others
• I'm good at things when I put my mind to them
• I'm not that ugly (Thanks to the gay guys! Really I don't mind gay people)
• I am honest
• Given the chance I can be one of the most loving/caring people you will ever meet
• I have a temper sometimes (I've gotten better at controlling this!)
• I've learned to be more accepting of others and their situations

I am sure that I will learn a lot more about myself in the months to come. It will be an exciting and tough time. This past week was fairly easy, and the next one will be as well. There will be some rough nights, and hopefully I'll be able to make it through them.

I don't think I wrote about this, but the other night I passed Alison's brother downtown. I don't know if he noticed me or not. I honestly don't know what to say to her family; I feel like I've let them down in some way. I want to say, "Hi," and act normally around them, but who knows what they think of me. I don't even think I could call them to tell them they've been great to me, and thank them for everything they've done. I honestly don't know if it is the end or not. It very well could be; I just don't know.

I didn't really want to write about her, but I just felt like I needed to get it out and tell someone. I just can't keep my thoughts pent up inside anymore.

I've been thinking about death a lot recently too; it is kind of hard not to when I read two books that dealt with dying men. It reminds me of the bucket list, and how there is a statistic about 1000 people. I think I'm in the 4% that would like to know. Death will come.

Honestly I think if I was told I wouldn't be waking up tomorrow I would be content with it. I don't think I would run out and attempt to do things that I haven't ever done. I'm happy with the things that have happened in my life; I've experienced many things. The most important thing I think that I've experienced is unconditional love. It is like one of my favorite Douglass Adams quotes, "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I intended to be." Such is life.

I can't think of too many people that I made happy today, but I do know that the best part of my day was talking to Jamal. I feel much better now after writing this. I feel like I got the monkey off my back.

lilly

I picked a flower today. I was going to give it to Jen if she called to see me before she left. I guess I still will if she does call. If not it will sit on my counter like this. I really like it. I planted this plant at my parent's house. Last year they didn't bloom, but this year they did, and I took one.

It was funny last night Nanci asked me if I ever had a crush on Jen. I laughed; my response was "No." Which is true. I then followed it up with, "Jen is a beautiful girl, but she's not for me."

Oh how it is the truth. I'm going to go get some Diet Dew. I bought a 2 Liter today to last me through the weekend. I need to rearrange my room to make way for my bed. I think I'm going to have to get rid of some furniture. I think I will figure it out.

It isn't letting me add the image. I'm going to publish the post and edit it to add it.

l = (d^2/3 + h^2/3)^3/2

I did my laundry today. I also bought my bed. It is officially ordered. The guy that sold it to me was really nice. I think he was helpful; he might have tried to push things a little but his attitude overrode all the "sales junk" for me. Just a downright nice guy that knew how to relate to a college kid. Not much else for me to say. I am excited about my bed... now I'm going to go measure the hallway to make sure they can get it in here! I know it will fit in my room; anyone for the classic calculus problem with the ladder?

Pick me.

i made three people smile today

I saw Nanci tonight! So I went to the Java House and got some studying done. I really wasn't making too well tonight. I just got distracted easily. Then I went to the tattoo parlor. I got a estimate on price, and how I'd have to change my current design. $120 is what it will be if I decide to get it.

After the parlor I went to the Old Capitol. It was the most amazing sunset that I have ever seen in Iowa. Wow. It was breathtaking. I took a picture, but I will tell you it DOES NOT do it justice. It just doesn't. There also was an woman there that started talking to me. She was very pretty, but she was obviously 3-4 years older.

I think I'm looking at girls more than ever now. There is a lot out there to just look at; kind of like the sunset. I think it is fun to just talk to them. Nanci met me at the Old Capitol after the sun went down. We went to BoJames. Big beers FTW. I folded the waitress a bow tie. She was excited because her friend always gets things folded for her like that, and she never did. She said she was keeping it. If I go there again I'll fold her something different. I like making people happy; even if I'll never see them again.

Nanci and I went back to the Old Capitol after the beers. I picked her a flower. She just texted me "Thanks for my flower." Today I made quite a few people happy. I'm glad I was able to do that. Monday is going to be a busy day. I am going to eat Burge again for the first time since a year ago! I hope they have grilled cheese. I'll have to do my hair like I did tonight. Put on a good face for the University.

I'm going to head to bed. I wish I had my new bed!!! It will be kind of sad when I get my new bed though. I like the memories of my childhood and youth from my current bed. I want to write more about it but I shouldn't! By saying that I guess I just did. Oh well. I saw a beautiful sunset today. That was the best part of my day.

So what's your sign?

mmmmm; go on....

So I was cleaning out my drawers and closet of stuff, and I came across a note that Nanci gave me. I haven't used it, but I think I should. It reads:

One fun activity on Nanci!! Ticket only good for 1 use.
No homework activities.

She is such a sweetie. I haven't seen her in awhile because she has been busy. I am glad that I have someone who cares. I think I'll have to use it sometime this summer. She has already done enough for me, but I don't want her to know that I forgot about it (even though it probably already seems like I have).

I got a Papa Murphy's pizza. The Cowboy Pizza. I'm no cowboy, but I think it will be good. Yep; confirmed. I'm going to go down to the Java House and stop by Nemesis this evening. I'll get a better idea of what I want, and maybe just enjoy some music and a Grapefruit Lemonade. Good sober fun. I am not a huge fan of getting plastered for fun; I've only been sick the next morning once, and that was because I did something I shouldn't have done which is intensified by the alcohol.

This weekend will be fun, and next week will be so exciting for me. I'm going to see Matt and Ben. I can't wait. I'll write again tonight to say how things went.

P.S. The girl texted me back. She is such a sweetheart.

what it is

So this morning when I woke up I almost peed myself. The lady at work reported my boss for something. I thought it was hilarious! I went into work at 12:00 and came back at 2:30. Wow. What a wonderful Friday. Actually work was just more like what has been going on all week. I'm kind of sick of it. I would have stayed later, but I forgot my office keys and I had to leave when the last person who had keys left.

They opened up 1st. Ave. again. It is kind of weird how the Cambus goes down 12th Ave. I don't really know what to think of it. I have mixed emotions.

I don't know what I am going to do with myself the rest of the day. I kind of want to go study, but I also want to go and get a Pizza and maybe look more at bed stuff. I am excited to get a new bed. I've had my current one since I was a child, and it holds a lot of memories. I'm just looking forward to something that is more comfortable. I hate feeling like I'm up against the wall when I sleep. I need to visit the tattoo parlor too. I think I might get henna done first to see what it will look like. I figure that is a safe bet. I still don't know how big I want it to be. I guess the price doesn't really matter to me that much as long as I like it. I mean it is going to be there until I rot away.

Maybe I'll write again tonight. I can't really decide what I will do with the rest of the night. I already went to the Piano Lounge last night. Maybe I'll just go to the coffee shop. I know they have live music tonight. That could be fun for a bit.

don't ask me about it

I forgot to mention. It is fucking bullshit that people from high school have to come up and ask me about Alison. What the fuck do you want me to say? If you want the real reason why we're done talk to her; I'm tired of explaining things to people. Deal with it. It isn't my job to sugarcoat anything. I'm not going to say anything more about it besides we're NOT together.

i'm glad you threw that all away

So I went to the Piano Lounge with Dan tonight. Things didn't go so well there. I think people think we are gay. Well I know people think we're gay. The other day at the Java House I got hit on by a gay guy. I don't know what I have to do to not be gay. Fuck.

I liked the last Martini that I had. It was very good. I can't remember the name of it right now, but it had Malibu, Pineapple, and Lime Juice. Yum. Dan didn't like it. There was a girl there that I hit on. It was horrible! I didn't really know what to say. She was cute, but not blonde (so I guess it wouldn't have worked out anyways). Her friends were all excited she was getting hit on, but she wasn't. I guess girls don't appreciate it as much as I thought they would.

I also gave a girl a piggy back ride! It was kind of fun; I won't lie about it. After we left Piano Lounge we were heading out and we saw her again. I walked her with Dan because she was super drunk, and her friends were leaving her behind. Poor girl. She was pretty though (and blonde!). I ended up buying her Panchero's. I figured I had the money, and she was kind of feeling down so I would do a nice thing for her. I ended up getting her number, and a goodnight kiss. It was a better kiss than I had from the drunk girl this last semester.

Afterwards I texted Jen that I got one. I was excited. I can't believe a girl would want to kiss me! I'm almost crying now because someone wanted to kiss me. Who cares if she was drunk! SOMEONE WANTED ME! I am crying now. I feel so down sometimes it isn't even funny. I'm so happy right now that someone actually talked to me for at least 15 minutes. I guess all I want is someone who cares.

I think my biggest fear is that she won't respond in the next few days. I gave her my number and I got hers, but the last time that happend I was hung out to dry. I try, and I fail.

"Cross my heart, hope to die. Swear I won't say what happened that night. So starting today things are going to be alright. Your best you tried, yeah you did fine. No better than find perfect in my mind. In fact I wish your heart was mine." - The Rocket Summer (Cross My Heart)

trial by fire

Bad news bears. So today I went into work after I made my purchases for my project. I was kind of wondering what was going to happen with the lady I work with. She told me when she came in to grab some papers from a meeting with him she was going to quit once she found another job. Good for her. I guess it isn't good to get pushed around, and what is happening to her isn't fair. I heard a little more, and now I will be making more money than she.

I feel bad. I have no degree, and she has a PhD. When she got done another employee that is really sweet and adorable was waiting for her meeting. The lady walked in and said, "Oh. You're still here? I thought you got laid off too." I guess this was news to her. Wow, I felt so bad. Good news is that she wasn't fired.

I wonder when she will find a new job. I guess if it happens while he is in China he is going to be screwed. I doubt he'll find anyone to replace her either.

I'm eating my Mac and Cheese now. I mixed it up so that the blue cheese wouldn't be so strong. It is okay when it isn't screaming at me, "Here I am!" Tomorrow might have to be a Chicken Finger night. There are some in the freezer that have been eyeing me. I haven't really eaten that healthy this week, but I haven't seen my weight go up yet. So hopefully it won't hit me next week.

I think I will be visiting the Piano Lounge tonight for half price martini's. I was going to wait until Friday, but the way things have been going at work I just need to get out tonight. Oh! I got an email today back from the club I want to join! I'm super excited about it. I hope it works out; it should unless it is a bad time to join.

So I have a crush on a girl. This song reminds me of it:

The music doesn't start until 1:47. Disregard the first part; I couldn't find another version that wasn't live or corny with words on it.

what.. what..?

In the...

I forgot to mention my boss is going back to fucking China next week. Could this get any better? The lady I work with might not even be in the office next week either.

Summary:

1st month: Boss in China
1 week: Boss in Iowa City
Next month: Boss in China
Last month: Who knows?

sick to my stomach

Okay. I feel horrible right now. I can say I did start studying, and that is probably the only good thing that happened tonight.

Left Front Tire - Bring You Down
I feel frustration sometimes
when the words don't come out right.
Footprints in the Sand reveals
to me a past scene of my life.
Please stand by me through
the thick and thin,
though the trials of my life.
He's dealing with me now...
I turn around you're doing it again...
you're doing it again.
I'm not trying to bring you down.
I just want you to see
what is happening to me.
I'm not trying to bring you down.
Just understand that I
was blind but I'm learning to see.
I've ran long enough from
what I know is right.
The sands of yesterday are
sliding through the clutched fingers of life.
I'm not saying that the fun is gone,
or the times we had are in vain.
There's a break in the wilderness.
My narrow path is clearing again...
it's clearing once again.
I'm not trying to bring you down.
I just want you to see
what is happening to me.
I'm not trying to bring you down.
Just understand that I
was blind but I'm learning to see.
I'm not trying to bring you down.
I just want you to see
what is happening to me.
I'm not trying to bring you down.
Just understand that I
was blind but I'm learning to see.

I really want to do my assignment. I do! I almost just did it today. I don't know what stopped me. It is just like well twenty thousand people have opinions on things and I don't know what to do. I'm sure things will be O.K. I have a lot more days before I have to finish it. I don't want to leave it for the end, but I want to do it when the time is right. I've never been one to procrastinate (too much); that is for sure. I had to go back and add "too much."

A lot of people had birthdays on Facebook today. I didn't really know one of them but I wrote happy birthday anyways. I guess as long as I had it in my clipboard I could take the few seconds to paste it there too. She is really cute, but I'm probably a nobody to her. I am okay with that. Everyone is bound to be a nobody to someone. Think of all the people on the other side of the world. They don't know I exist, but life goes on anyways. I figure this is probably the same way.

Tonight is kind of a downer night, but I feel like I'm doing better than I was in the past few weeks. It is really hot and muggy in here again. This means that I'm not going to be able to sleep again tonight. Yuck. Tomorrow is Thursday. I think on Friday I might go down to the Piano Lounge alone and just listen. I like that place but no one I know seems to want to go there ever. It is okay to enjoy myself alone every once and awhile right?

why am i eating moldy cheese?

Dinner is being eaten. Today was a loooong day. I got some money today for my project. Hooray. I don't think it will be enough to start. I was kind of depressed today. The lady I worked with is getting "laid off" in technical terms. Her hours are being reduced. I feel sorry for her.

I kind of also wonder if it is so that he can budget more money for my project. I would feel HORRIBLE if this happened. This lady needs the job. I guess I will never know the reason, but one can only think.

I just hit the blue cheese. I tried to mix it in well. That bite was relatively strong. I think the dish is good, but I just wish I had mixed up the cheese a little more so there weren't really sharp spots of blue cheese.

I think I nuked the frozen vegetables too much. I think they kind of steam again, and well by the end of the week they are shrivelled. They're getting there. I'll probably finish them tomorrow. The applesauce is gone. I'll be right back I'm going to get a cookie for my milk.

Yum. I've been losing weight. I'm almost below 180. This means I'm halfway to my goal for this summer. I hope it continues to go this well. I can't believe I am actually going to be able to lose 20 lbs. Ideally I'd like to get down to 155-160, but I'm just going to take baby steps. I think I'll know when I look good in the mirror. I've already noticed that it is a little better.

I'm going to go down to the Java House again tonight. I'm taking my book to study for the DAT. I kind of want to take a sweater because the last few times I've been there I have been afraid that people are seeing me nip out. I don't think my nipples are too sexy.

I got a comment on my shirt today. I like shirts that people comment on. I especially feel that this one is "me". It is the I <3 Breasts shirt. Not the fact that I like breasts (I do though!) but more the fact that I don't care what other people say about it. A guy starred at me on the bus today. Get over it. I am a man, and I like boobs. It doesn't mean I'm a pervert.

I think I'm going to head downtown now. Well go wait for the bus anyways. Hopefully I'll get at least a good hour in before I get bored. An hour for the first day isn't bad. Maybe more if I'm into it.

forgot to mention

I had a wonderful Grapefruit Lemonade drink today at the Java House. It wasn't as grapefruity as I thought it would be, but it was still good.

I just finished up with work stuff! Hooray me!

Tomorrow I start studying for the DAT. Also I have to get some stuff done at work to see how much money I'll need for my project. I'm glad I went and got prices today because it is going to be more expensive than I first thought.

It is kind of muggy in my room. I think I'm going to listen to some Metro Station and go look at bedding for my new bed online. Queen Size Mattress here I come! Woot woot!

no longer a yo-yo

So tonight will be my first ever experience with Blue Cheese. I made a dish called Caramelized Macaroni and Cheese. I butchered both those words. Spell check will save me.

I got an email from the University today. I have some web stuff to do for them now. I'm going to get that knocked out after dinner. Hopefully some of those people will correspond back to me. It is sometimes like pulling teeth to get anyone to respond. I try to do the work right away so that they will give me work when they have it.

I finished "Go Ask Alice" today. I can add it to my list of books read. I'm sorry but only like four or five of the diary entries really touched me. Today was good, and I got a little emotional (not enough to make me cry). I guess it is a sad story, but it just didn't move me. I don't really know what to say; maybe it will do it for you.

I also met with my counselor today. It went well. I have an assignment to do before our next meeting. I'm excited about it, but nervous/scared at the same time. I think I will go check on dinner. I feel hungry.

name tags

Today at work I had a meeting with my boss. It seems like he finally is going to be willing to spend money on the project. I think I'll go down to the e-shop tomorrow and get some updated prices.

After work I went and got my hairs cut. So I have a little secret. When I get service from someone I tell them thank you by their name if they're wearing a name tag. I think it is personable. I remember someone did it to me once, and I thought "How do they know me?" Later I realized that most people have to wear name tags, but society ignores them. It may take an extra second to look for someone's name, but it does actually make them feel like they're a person.

I went to deposit a check today too. Afterwards I saw the Java House, and I was going to go read my book at the Old Capitol, but I thought I'd go in and see what it is like. I had a smoothie, but it tasted too sweet for me. I don't think I will get it again. Maybe I'll try Java Juice sometime this week. I really need to finish this book before the 26th. It is okay, but I read one of my favorite lines from it. "I have two choices; I must either commit suicide or try to rectify my life by helping others." It is kind of hard to believe that I felt like that a few weeks ago. I guess I am moving in the right direction.

I really like my haircut. I looked at it in the mirror after I took a shower this afternoon. Maybe I'll take a picture and post it.

what a sweetheart

Today was a productive day. I got everything I wanted to get done except for one item. I think that item can wait until tomorrow. No rush I guess. I got up early enough to go get laundry started before I met Matt for lunch. I really enjoyed hanging out with Matt and his friends last night . I wasn't probably as fun for them because I wasn't plastered, but I had a good time.

Matt and I went to the Airliner for $1.50 slices. They were so good. The waitress was gorgeous. She was such a sweetheart too. Matt told me I should ask for her number :-/. I think that is kind of weird. I didn't do it, but I did pay with my credit card. Right next to the tip I wrote "you're beautiful." I'm sure she checked how much I tipped her. I hope it made her happy. I think it is just the little things that I enjoy doing for people. I'll probably won't see her again, and if I do she might not remember me, but it all doesn't matter if I put a smile on her face for just one second.

sounds of the ocean

Sunday morning. That is what it is. I had a good time tonight. For the first time when I walked across the bridge home I felt good. I was at peace with the water. It reminded me of when I was in Egypt in Alexandria. At night we were on the Mediterranean. The noise that the river made was similar.

I didn't see any women tonight that really interested me. There were a few that were O.K. but none that actually looked like they'd last long term. I think I've been given the best gift that anyone could give me. I finally think I am figuring out who I am. I know that I want to be romantic and have a long term relationship. I want someone to care for and have the ability to do things to make her feel good.

I know I'm new to all this meeting girls stuff. It will take time, but I think that when one finally sees the qualities that I have she won't be able to say, "No." I think I just want to fall in love all over again. I just smiled. "It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all." I think that sums it up. I know deep down that I will love again. She just hasn't walked into my life yet, or maybe she has and I haven't realized it.

our last night

Last night was fun. Alison came into town so we could say our "goodbye"'s. Dinner was O.K. but she got really confused, and I just wanted last night to be one more fun night for the both of us. We talked in the car afterwards for awhile; it wasn't the most pleasant conversation the two of us have ever had, but it needed to happen.

At that point in the night I just felt like taking her home and going to hang out with Matt. He had offered earlier, but I just needed to take care of these things with Alison. We went back to my place and had the most amazing time ever. It was passionate.

The dancing at the bar wasn't as fun. I think I have to be drunk to be able to move. I really do. I enjoyed it though. The drive home was long and I felt like we just got to talk about things that were more the old us for a few minutes. As we got closer to her parent's place it got more serious. We kissed one last time. It honestly felt like the Dashboard Confessional song The Best Deceptions. "So kiss me hard because this will be the last time that I let you." Here it is if you'd like to hear it. I feel like I can get my life moving in the other direction now.

she was a bombshell

Today was amazing. Correction. This afternoon was amazing. I made it through the morning, and my penance was paid in full. Good thing the porcelain god doesn't charge interest.

Jen called me at around 2:00. Well maybe it was 1:00. She then came and picked me up to go to the mall. She wanted to get some lotion, and I needed some sticky stuff for my bulletin boards that weren't staying hung. The way out there was kind of roundabout, but it made for a good conversation. I'm glad Jen took time out to see me.

I like hearing her stories. I know she sometimes feels frustrated, but I think that she is on top of things, and has the right attitude about what she wants in life. We ended up looking through underwear at American Eagle and Victoria's Secret. It was fun. Jen thought it was hilarious that I was comfortable thumbing through the underwear piles with her. She knows I have good taste.

We walked into Victoria's Secret and she said, "I'm surprised that you can just walk in here." One of the Sales Associates was the most amazing blonde I have ever seen. Wow. The one at American Eagle was really good too, but Jen said she didn't like something about her. I forget what it was, but I didn't notice it. I told her after we got out of Victoria's Secret that I bet she couldn't find anything wrong with that one. She agreed.

Afterwards she enjoyed one of my Oatmeal Raisin cookies. They are the most amazing things ever (well maybe not the ones I make). She really liked them. Jen seems to like my cookies. Nanci thinks I'm missing something. These oatmeal raisin cookies were made for me to eat. I love them. I really enjoy baking too, but that is more of a side note.

I best wrap this up. I need to remember to check my spelling. I haven't done that a few times, and I go back and notice things. I'm really bad at spelling recommend and across. I always think that they have two "c"'s.

definitions

Worshiping the porcelain god all morning was not what I had in mind when I said I was going to go do something productive.

Let's just hope I'm not summoned from the depths again. I have paid my pennance for today.

like a virgin

I woke up this morning in my underwear on top of my made bed. I don't know how the hell I got to that point or how I fell asleep on my back. I normally sleep on my stomach. I woke up around 7:00 and took some ibuprofen.

I got back under the covers this time. Last night was fun. I think the last thing I remember is being at a bus stop asking two girls if the bus was going to come. They weren't the nicest girls ever (actually they were quite mean). I guess I ended up walking home because no bus came.

The one girl told me she lost her virginity. Interesting. Usually that isn't something that one goes around telling strangers, but I guess if the circumstances are right. I am going to turn some music on and then find something productive to do.

shoes

So long day. I got a little more done with the work project. I figured out how to put more things in one file. That will create less of a headache. I also have to split some things up, but that is okay to do.

I had a frozen pizza for dinner, and I am now going to go out for a night on the town with Dan. I haven't really hung out with him since well a long time. He is a funny guy. Hopefully I won't spend too much money. I'm going to get $60 out of the ATM and hope that lasts the weekend. Ouch, that is expensive. Oh well. It will be well worth it. I hope.

Anyways I have to go figure out what pair of shoes I will be wearing. My normal ones are caked in sand from sandbagging. Boy I sound like a girl.

euphoria

It is starting to kick in. Thank God. It only took one tonight.

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you that I would never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start

Oh, But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It’s impossible to find

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I’m yours to keep

And hold onto your words
‘Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you’re asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Today I felt good. I've been feeling a lot better this week. I really think things are starting to get better, and it isn't just the state I'm in. I was; well I don't know if I want to write that at this moment. I probably wouldn't be thinking clearly about it.

Ever wonder why there are things that you have to go through and nit pick about someone else. I feel like a horrible person. I know I have my own problems. I am working on solving them though. I need to put together a list of the money that my brother owes me so he can deduct what I owe him and pay me. Sounds complicated doesn't it?

I'm relaxed right now. I think I might play some video games.

I meant to write about how I felt about two of my friends today, and how they really are acting like the same person. I've only really told one how I feel. Maybe I'll do that quickly. I like quotes, and one day I came across one about time. It said something about how one organizes his or her time, and how no matter what that person will make time for what is important to himself or herself. I went looking for it, but I couldn't find it at this juncture.

There are two of my friends that are valuing other things at this point in their lives. That is fine with me. I understand completely, but I wish they would just say they didn't want to hang out. I'd be glad to hear the honest truth. The truth isn't mean or evil, it is just the truth. It is something that we aren't always able to control. It is nature. I will forgive these friends, and when they are ready to be everything they were before I'll gladly accept them back with open arms; no grudges.

I have been one of the bad friends, and I am truly grateful to those who took me back. I'm sorry for those that didn't. I understand and I take full responsibility for my actions at those points in time. I don't think I need to mention any names, but I know that you know who you are. I am sorry.

Last night I talked to three of my greatest friends in the whole wide world. I ate dinner with Nanci and her friends. It was fun; I sat there with five girls and just listened. The things they talked about ranged from boys to work to the flood. I loved listening. Then after dinner Nanci told me what she really honestly thought about my goatee. She was right. I kind of felt the same way about it, but I kept thinking it was going to get better. Nanci and I have an honest relationship. She told me HONESTLY what she felt. I am sure Matt and Ben would have as well if I had asked them. I was really proud of Nanci for telling me when no one else would. For this she is one of the greatest.

I also talked to Matt on the phone. I was thinking about calling him earlier in the night. Talking to him was wonderful. We both needed it, and it was good to talk to him about everything that was going on. I really wish I could talk to him now, but he is taking his test.

I also got a little conversation with Ben before he went to bed. I heard he had a date. I was spacing out and he left before I could make a comment about it. I am happy for him. I guess it just goes to show that there is HOPE for kids like me. He was at a different stage than I was, and probably in a more favorable situation. What happened with Ben is wonderful; I can't begin to tell you how happy I am for him.

Day by day; in every way; I get better and better. This I know is true.

I'm going to make my bulletin board now. That is why I went to Wal-Mart. I won't have color pictures on it, but I've always been a bigger fan of gray anyways. This week the colors have been changing. The gray is a representation of my mood, but I'm sure all of you are smart enough to figure that one out.

fall for you

So this is the song I'm into right now.

training wheels

Dinner was fantabulous. I use this word because I first learned of it when my 3rd and 4th Grade teacher wrote it on one of my papers. She had a knack for words. It was brought up at dinner because one of the ladies said that she made up a word. It reminds me of the videoblog that I like. The user hotforwords on youTube.

http://www.youtube.com/user/hotforwords

Ow ow. She is beautiful. I wish I could be with a woman that beautiful. I see them all the time, but it is just a foreign land for me. Like trying to ride a bike for the first time. I remember when I rode my bike for the first time.

I kind of wonder if chasing girls is like that. You just keep failing and failing, and then one day it just clicks and you can ride like you've never rode before. God I hope so. I was fortunate to be in a relationship for 5 years, and it was wonderful. On the same hand I never had to chase anyone.

Here I am today now. Just like the first penguin. I like the idea of the first penguin that was first put forth to me by Randy Pausch in his book. I can't explain it as well as he, but the premiss is that the seals are in the water and that the first penguin could jump in and get eaten right away. Sometimes I feel as if I've already been eaten. I think I'm okay with that; one day I'll see her and know that she is the one.

The walk back was kind of long. I wore shoes I don't normally wear and I knew that they would give me blisters. My feet kind of started to hurt, but I still enjoyed wearing the pair of shoes.

I think I will donate blood tomorrow; I might as well just incase I get the tattoo. It would be a shame to just have that go to waste. It seems more and more now that I want it. I just look at it, and it is pleasing to myself.

I just got an email. It is probably another load of junk from someone I don't know. I'm going to go check it, and then goof around for a bit on the computer before I read and go to bed.

apples and oranges

I just ate applesauce. So far it is the best part of my day.











I even licked the plate.

this is the part i always hate

That is the shirt I am wearing. Harris is a great cartoonist. His book is on the top of my toilet. If you ever have the privilege of taking a dump at my condo you should pick it up.

Work was good today. I was really frustrated with the darn graphing library. I finally figured out a way that I want to do it. I need to install SQLyog tomorrow on the laptop.

I kind of want to go into work. Working at home is kind of lonely. Plus I feel like things are less frustrating when I have someone else to talk to.

I haven't read in awhile. I am currently reading Nanci's suggestion. It is decent so far. Should be a quick read, but I haven't been waiting for the bus lately.

star struck

Tomorrow is a work day. I don't think that the cambus will be running again. I will probably work here from home. I think I can get a lot done tomorrow. Hopefully this will be another productive week. Last week worked out well!

Today I watched the U.S. Open again. It wasn't as exciting as yesterday. The ending was wonderful. I guess they'll play again tomorrow. I'll have to keep tabs on it I guess.

Tonight I watched the Discovery Channel series "When We Left Earth." It was wonderfully done. Tonight they showcased the Apollo Missions. It just tickled my inner nerd so much. Some of the engineering that was done is incredible, and the circumstances that they were up against were intriguing.

The thing I think I enjoyed about it the most was how it reminded me of when I was younger. I remember for my birthday one year I was given a telescope. I think space has always been something that a lot of people find to be captivating. I looked out at the moon tonight during a commercial, and the way the clouds were passing over it made for a beautiful sight. I can't imagine what it would be like to be out there. I don't think that I would have the guts to ever go; but I'm sure it would be a beautiful thing.

There are many beautiful things here on Earth that one can experience. I did a lot more experiencing when I was in high school. I think it would be fun to get back to it, but the money just always isn't there. I really want to go to Alaska. Maybe someday.

tats

I think I have found one I really like:

http://sparkycom.deviantart.com/art/Bear-Tattoo-80730778

beer run

I had a long day in the sun. The free beer, margaritas, chicken fingers, onion rings, and mozzarella sticks were good though! I kind of have a head ache now.

When I got back I was fortunate enough to watch the U.S. Open again. Tiger was amazing. I can't believe the shots that he made.

Not a long message today; I'm just burnt out. Sore from sandbagging and worn down by being in the sun. I think I got a little more than I expected, but hopefully I won't peel. I have yet to peel this summer, and I feel it is bound to happen sometime.

i can't decide what i want

I am thinking about what I want to buy for myself this summer. I'll need to save some money, but I want to treat myself to something fun that I will enjoy. I kind of have been thinking about a bed, but I don't really know if that is something that I want to spend money on right now. I really wouldn't mind being more comfortable at night.

There are a few other things; like the tattoo. I need to get it drawn how I want it with a certain amount of detail. I guess then I can decide if I really want it or not. The other thing I was considering is a Wii, but then I wouldn't want to play alone. It would be more of a social thing, but there isn't really anyone around to play with that the moment. It might be kind of a waste.

I watched golf this afternoon. It was really relaxing. I don't know why, but I really enjoy watching big sporting events. It was fun to watch Tiger and the others go back and forth. For awhile I didn't think Tiger was going to do what he did. I didn't see Zach Johnson; I must have started watching too late. I know after the first day he was sitting O.K.

I think I'm going to head to bed soon. Poor old bed. Really the reason I want a new bed is because I want a bigger one. Maybe next month I'll have enough money saved to decide upon something. Then again I probably won't get paid the full amount I am owed right away. I guess my "contract" says once a month. This means I should get it by the 11th. If not I might have to have a talk with my boss.

Oh; I forgot to mention when I went to the library that the Teddy that was there for $.50 was gone. I was going to buy him so he could have a good home. He was well loved, and he looked like he would have been a good fit for me. Bears are by far my favorite creature other than females on this planet. Hooray for females (well some of them at least)!

i helped out today

I didn't think it would be worth going into work so I decided to help out today. I got up at 9:00 and made my way down to the river. I found a group at the water plant working, and I started bagging. I even made the photo above. See if you can find me.

A lot of people started to show up later, and it was really a neat thing. I left around 1:00 because I had some other things to attend to. Now I'm here at home. It will be interesting to see what happens with the bridges. I would like to go do something tonight, but I don't know if it is worth the risk. I don't really want to get stuck anywhere. I really want to see some people though. I guess I will see what the news says about Burlington St.

For now I'm going to go grab something to drink and relax. My arms are really sore, and I can't imagine what they are going to feel like tomorrow.

Highlight of my day was the trucker lady holding the bags for me when she said, "This gives my boobs a workout."

"water water everywhere and all the boards did sink;"

I got more done at work today. I worked out the password encryption in the database along with some user permission issues that I had going on.

I emailed Alison too for some small talk. I haven't talked to her since Monday. I really do miss her, but I think things have started to get a little bit better. I think I just miss being around people. Work is really lonely. There is Jackie to talk to, but she left early today. Also when my boss gets back from China I have to act like I don't know anything.

I know a lot. So as Aaron and I went down to get Jen's stuff from her and Ben's storage unit the water started coming in the strip. Two lanes were flooded. We tried to go down Mormon Trek to go home, but that was flooded and we ended up driving up on the sidewalk and then just getting a small trip from the unit. We got the seats out and then went back for her box spring bed.

It was funny because I didn't know she had a desk that had to go too. She has some nice furniture. We put the desk in and then we forced the box spring in. It was crazy trying to get it into the mini-van. It would have fit without the desk, but we didn't have that luxury. They ended up closing 2nd St. later. I'm glad I was able to help Jen and Ben get their stuff out.

I wish I could see both of them more often, and now I hope I can see Jen since she has work off. I hope my mom doesn't think that there is anything going on between us. She seems to be pressuring me to get into things I am not interested in. I bet she asks me about it later. Jen is a wonderful person and a very beautiful girl, but I am not interested in her like that.

To finish off the line that I started in the beginning of this post:

"water water everywhere nor any drop to drink"

Memories from Ms. Dole's 10th grade honors English class in high school.

sober sally

I got money today. Hooray money. It won't be in my account for awhile though. I didn't have time to go to the bank before it closed. It feels good to make half of what I made at Cub Foods all summer in two weeks of payroll.

Today work was wonderfully surprising. I had a very productive day. I still need to work out a few kinks in what I did today and add security to it. I got a book at the library today to help me with that. SQL Injection could be deadly.

I'm sober right now, but that is all about to change. Tomorrow is my Friday.

a.m. sickness

I don't really remember what happened last night past 11:00. I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing. For now I'll consider it a good thing. I don't like being alone at nights; especially at this point in my life. I just feel like I need something to lean on. We all have our crutches; I just need to find what mine is. I need to find something; I don't know how long my current one will last. I don't really feel good right now; headaches are the worst. I don't feel like eating either due to the fact I feel that it might come up again.

tomorrow is payday

I get paid tomorrow. Finally. I applied for a credit card today. We'll see how that goes. Today was O.K. I guess I'll see how tonight goes. Usually nights are the worst.

two today

So this is what I'm thinking about. Something along the lines at least. I didn't get paid today. It just seems like I won't. It isn't really helping.

Today was better, but just one thing ruined it from me feeling better.

truth

It's almost Monday. I should be getting paid tomorrow. It would be nice to get paid anyways. I've been waiting all this week. I'm not really happy right now.

I should do some cleaning. At least today I found out the truth. Even if I can't handle the truth I at least know what is going on. I wish a lot of things were different right now, but they're not; but then again don't we all.

laundry time

I'm going to go do laundry here. Last night wasn't the most fun; I guess we all have our little secrets. There really isn't much I can do about mine. I guess when I run out I run out. I'm a little hungry now; maybe I'll get something to munch on before I go.

gotta love the 90s

bottom of the barrel

It has been a long time since it has been this bad.

recycled

The first day of the weekend is almost over. I had a wonderful day. I wonder what the evening will hold. Jen is supposed to call me back. I don't know if she will, but we shall see.

I took back the recycling today. It was kind of getting crowded, and I figured I should do it. The bottles went back to Hy-Vee last night; so now everything is fresh. I went to see Trio today. I think he will be adopted by someone else. That is the cat that I want if I get one. If not I think I will just have to wait until another comes along.

The lake was fun too. I really enjoyed that part of my day. I wish the water wasn't so high. It is going to rain more tonight and tomorrow. Hopefully it will eventually go down this summer. I think I'm going to go finish my book. I almost did it last night, but I was getting kind of sleepy.

i'm losing my mind

So I just called Jen on the phone. I thought my headset was plugged in, but it was really plugged into the charger. Good thing her voice was loud enough for me to hear from the phone's speaker. She'll be here tomorrow. Hopefully it won't rain.

i'll get over you I know I will

Today I went into work and then had lunch with Ben. I didn't really have anything to do so I took the afternoon off. This was good. Ben and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch. It was funny because he spilled his pop on me while putting the menus away.

I didn't really care at all. Spilling something on me is not the end of the world. I think he kind of felt bad about it, but I hope he realized that I did not care one bit. The hostess had one of the nicest rear ends that I have seen in awhile. Yes, she was blonde. I knew that was the first question that popped into everyone's mind.

I think I got caught up with what was going on with Ben's life. It sounds like his summer is a little more eventful than mine, but still kind of dry. I got to hear about how he took out a married woman to lunch! That was an interesting story.

After lunch he drove me back to my place and came up for a bit. I hadn't cleaned the restroom in awhile and he had to use it. I hope it wasn't too gross. I know it is gross, but it is me so I don't really care. I haven't cleaned it in awhile, but there is no ring in it. I had been doing a really good job of cleaning it on the weekends during the school yer. My guess is my shower needs to be wiped down too.

I made dinner too! Dinner is going to be hamburger pie. Yummy. I think it is one of my favorites, but I think the tops is still Lemon Kalamata Chicken. Although I have to admit I chinse out on the olives. I'm going to go read a bit; the dish has about 15 more minutes left in the oven, and then it is chow time.

To finish what I started: I'm the king of wishful thinking.

the glory of love

So I like this song. The New Found Glory version is more my style, but Pete gets the show here.

thursdays with nanci

Today was fun. I left work a little early just like yesterday. I tried to write a blog entry this morning but something happend as I posted it and I had to go so it was lost. I got home and had a few cookies and fried chicken leftovers. They were good. I also attempted to play Guild Wars with one of my online buddies. We got beaten down pretty badly tonight. I don't know what the heck was wrong.

I then proceeded out the door towards the library. The bus pulled up right as I arrived at the stop. It was my day. When I came back home it also pulled up right away. I was happy. At the library Nanci took a picture of me by the statue I remember from when I was a kid. It used to be downstairs in the main entryway before the rennovation, but has been moved up stairs. I had her take my picture by it.

After I got my two books we went to Whitey's to get ice cream. I don't know if I spelled that correctly, but at least I know what it means. We then went to the old capitol and ate it and talked. There were some skateboarders there; they were pretty good. I thought that they were wearing girls pants, but Nanci insisted that they were just a style of boys. It doesn't really matter what they were wearing I guess. All I know is that there is no way I'd ever be capable of the stunts they were performing.

Nanci and I always have good talks when we go to the old cap. The stairs are her favorite spot, and I really like them as well. There is just an aura about the place; and I don't think it is because of the tour guide saying that it is like the Lion King. That is just something that is really lame, and whoever thought of that idea should be fired.

I'm drinking a Coke Zero now. It is good. I started Tuesdays with Morrie on the bus ride home. It is going to be my kind of book. I've uploaded a picture of Nanci and I. She took the first one but her finger was over the flash, and I had to take the second one. Anyways it is nature naptime in a few hours, and I want to log a few more pages.

woot woot

So it is Thursday!! I have to be quick because I need to catch the bus for work in a few minutes. I'm excited. Hopefully the money will come in to pay me. If not then I guess I'll just have to go a few more days without it. I think it is fairly nice out today. I guess we will see what happens when the storm clouds start to move in. TSCLD comes next weekend. Heh, I think that is hilarious.

waiting on the bling

So it is going to be chicken fingers and fries again tonight. I am going to have corn too. I think I am going to make cookies as well. Chocolate Chip sound mighty good; plus Jen is coming back tomorrow and she'll probably have my Tupperware (I think it is actually Gladware, and it is probably not worth more than a dollar but still). I might be able to get it back if I have a few cookies.

I got my pressure sensor at work today! Now I just have to get money for the rest of the items, and make sure I can get them all to connect. Then I might have to wait another month to purchase a digital oscilloscope. That would be the worst case scenario, I'm already running out of things to do. I think the project will go fairly quickly once I am able to acquire data.

Speaking of Data I talked to Fanny the other day. She had just arrived in Austin, TX for her internship. She said the rooms were horrible (worse than Iowa's). I never really thought Iowa's dorms were that bad. They weren't fancy but they also weren't nasty. It will be interesting to see how things go for her. We might be doing our Senior Design Project together.

I still haven't received payment from work yet. Hopefully the next day or so I'll get some cash.

standing on the edge

It's like a drug; I just need to stop.

wednesday eve

I just ate too many chips. They were good though. I am kind of tired right now; I had a Vault today since the vending machine ran out of Cherry Coke. I guess it was just wasn't enough. Well tomorrow is hump day! I guess that is the exciting thing, but it still seems so far away.

It was pouring this morning when I got out of bed, and it is supposed to rain tomorrow too. I am glad it let up a bit before I had to go to work. I like the rain, but I don't like when it is just raining sheets. Then I get a little too wet for comfort. A little rain is O.K.

the cat was just adopted

So looking down at the picture of Sunshine I noticed she was adopted. That isn't fun, but I guess life goes on.

So at work I am pretty much redoing the website until I am able to get funds to purchase what I need for my real project. It is coming along well, but there have been some interesting turns along the way.

I deactivated my facebook account last night. I just spend too much time on there looking at things I don't really need to be looking at during this point in time. I mean who cares if my friend's dog ate a rabbit last week? I'll eventually reactivate it, but right now it is best that I just stay off of that website.

I'm kind of hungry; I got the urge to eat something today at work. That normally doesn't happen, and I didn't have anything that I could eat. I just ended up waiting until I got a Cherry Coke from the vending machine. I enjoy Cherry Coke. I probably could do with something diet, but I need the sugar sometimes.

I suppose this week should be exciting; well the end of it. I just have to wait to get over the hump.

can't take the heat

I'm really frustrated right now. I wish we could all have what we want. I think the words that she spoke to me one night are going to be the words she regrets the most. I am beginning to think more and more that my friends are right.

It is really warm in my room. The last few nights I've slept with the fan on. We'll tomorrow is Monday; doesn't that make everyone happy?