save it for later

Stadium Cleanup in like 4 hours. I'm going to go and then come back and take a nap. I think I'll defiantly wear sunglasses. Hopefully it won't be too awkward. I just need to show up and do my part to help the school.

I just got back from a FANTABULOUS day. I made breakfast for Ben and Dan. Jen and Eric had prior engagements and couldn't make it. Fanny didn't show up either. They enjoyed the casserole. I liked it too. We had like 6 shots before the game, but it didn't really phase either of us. Tonight was a different story! Dan got plastered.

The game was fun. We're not going to be very good, but I liked what I saw out of Stanzi and Hampton. Stanzi didn't really have the awareness that Christensen had but he threw it well. Hampton was a good runner. The defense Isn't something I am worried about. I was impressed with Christensen's improvement with getting rid of the ball. The Maine offense was pretty predictable. I could call the Draws out easily, but they still worked against our defense. Empty backfield; hello!

I took a nice 3 hour nap. Nanci and I went to Z'Markiz with her friend Kristen. It was my first time there. It was very good; I got really full. Afterwards Nanci and I had a long talk at the Old Capital. It was fantastic. We went over a lot of stuff. I told her about my recent happenings in my life. We got into how my charisma makes it seem like when I hang out with people that "we're dating." I thought it was interesting. I never really thought about it. She just said I was a very personal person, and that if you didn't know me you really wouldn't understand. I kind of agree.

I met Dan at the Industry. He knows a bunch of people that were playing in the band Funk 101. They were really good. We went and there was an older group of women there. I was just drinking coke and grenadine most of the night (since I have to get up) but I broke into the alcohol later. Yeah... I ended up getting called out onto the dance floor by a hot brunette that was in her 30s, and I thought I was going to get to dance with her, but I ended up dancing with her 40 year old friend. Yikes. It was kind of fun though. Dan got to dance with the hottie. I had fun. It was fun to dance with someone who was more drunk than I was, and it didn't really mean anything. I guess being a cougar hunter for one night isn't that bad.

On the way home I called Jen. When she called me back she was drunk! Jen never gets drunk. It was fun to talk to her; she was such a doll. I can't really get into what she said. It was hilarious though. Jen drunk. OH-EM-GEE.

So I am going to head to bed but before I do I would like to say that I love my new phone. It was nice being able to check my email and such while I was at the Old Capital.

I'm cooking breakfast for friends in a few hours! I think it will be fun. Then we're going to go see Matt play in the drumline.

On the way home I had to pee. Then I peed in the portapoty on the VA Loop. It was so convenient. Anyways I am going to hit the hay. Up in 4 hours to cook breakfast... beer and eggs. The breakfast of champions. :-P

:-D

I'm all smiles right now! So it is one month since the night I met her. I took her flowers this evening. They were in the wine bottle from when I cooked her dinner. I have a picture I will put up. When I got there she was in the shower so I got to talk to her roommates for awhile. Both of them are incredibly nice.

When I saw here I lit up. She was adorable. She looked good in what she was wearing too :-P. She had a rough week. I wish I could do something for her. She started to get sick too. That really stinks. I hope next week goes better for her, and that she feels better. I was just happy I got to see her for a few minutes tonight. I got a kiss too!!

I let her know I'd like to see her too. I know she is busy, and told her it is okay if she doesn't have time. I think as the semester picks up things will calm down for her; unfortunately they'll probably pick up for me. I have had a lot of readings already, and my engineering classes are going to start having homework.

Tomorrow is Iowa Football. I'm going to make breakfast for a few friends and have them over. After that we'll go see Matty Pat play in the drumline show, and then we'll be off to the game.

I'm so EXCITED! I love football. Coaching it is fun too! I just want the kids to focus all the time, and when I get time to work with two kids at a time they really listen, but then when we go to group things they just kind of forget all the things we worked on. I really wish I could have one on one time with all the kids, but it just isn't going to happen.

I'm off to look at new phones. Should be fun! I am still undecided on which one.

i can't believe it is already friday

This week just flew by. It isn't over yet. I have been kind of busy, but not as busy as I will probably be. I have to figure out what I need to do for my classes over the weekend. New phone tomorrow :-P! I don't know what I will get. I have to talk to the guy and find out which one is best for what I want to do with it. The price of the data plan will probably matter quite a bit too.

I have work tomorrow morning at 8:00 too. Fun. I was a little early last time, but then I got to leave a little early too because my replacement also came early. So I guess it worked out. I'm happy with the way the job is going. I feel like I still ask a lot of questions. I would rather do that than mess things up. Like the printer.

We had our draft today! I have a HILARIOUS story about it, but I don't feel like it should be put on here. I have quite a few stories that I can't put on here. The kids are funny. I still can't believe that we have a game coming up soon. It is going to be interesting. I'm really happy with the way we drafted our positions. I think both teams have advantages and challenges. I would say that they're really equal. I think we should have a pretty stout defense. We didn't get all the kids that I would have liked to work with, but that is the way it was supposed to happen.

Iowa Football Saturday!!!!

head first i will dive

Wednesdays are a lot easier than Mondays. Not just because Monday is Monday, but because of my class load. Tuesdays are better than Thursdays, but I have to deal with a lab. I think this is the first semester I've had with only one Lab since my first one. It is kind of a relief. I like some labs, but they're run by TAs and sometimes they don't exactly know what they're doing.

I cooked Pork Chops tonight. They were super good. I had them with black beans though; probably not such a good idea. The meat was good though. Today's football practice was better, but still not great. We tried to get done early, but that didn't really happen. I think we got out when we planned to get out the last few days. We've been going until 6:00; today was 5:45. Tomorrow we're picking teams. I think we have a pretty good idea of the talent split; we discussed that for awhile after practice today.

I have been doing some more thinking about the other night, and what Jen told me. I was just telling her about my frustration of how people don't want to date me. I asked her to tell me why. I think what she said is true but it isn't something that I want to change. She said, "Its because you're the type of guy that someone would want to marry; not date." It kind of stinks. I'm not really sure of what I want right now anyways. I have had some dates this summer. They were fun, but so far there hasn't been much interest in continuing to date me. I could change but it is totally not worth it. I don't want to be a "typical guy."

Enough said. I have some reading to do. I got carried away watching College Football Live and Slick Willy's speech.

with grace upon the wind

Today was my first day at the ITC. I work there tomorrow morning at 8:00. Exciting. It is kind of a good thing. I got to sit there and do my homework. Tomorrow I have some reading to do, and then I have to take a quiz on ICON. Should be doable for the two hours that I am there.

I figure that job is my beer money job. I also need to save for a Spring Break trip. I might just use the coaching job to pay for that. We'll see. I guess I'll just play it by ear. I should have enough income to have some fun along the way while saving too.

Today practice was really lethargic. The kids aren't that enthused as it is, but today was just depressing. One group I got going. I was jumping around yelling to the other coaches that I had the best group. It worked. That group just kept feeding off of it, and they got motivated and made themselves push harder. I tried to get the next group going by getting them to beat the other group. They had their flashes, but didn't have the consistency. I think I shouldn't have compared them, and tried to get them going another way. Some kids love the challenge and some don't.

I gave a closing remark after practice today saying, "Today wasn't great, but what happened today is done. You can't get that back. The only thing we can do is come out here tomorrow with a different attitude and a lot more enthusiasm and get better. I don't know about you guys, but I get excited when you make a big hit or perform a drill perfectly. Get excited about it; I'm sure none of the coaches out here are going to complain because you're getting excited."

I got back tonight and I just kept thinking about how to motivate them. I decided to give them an assignment. I made a slip of paper with spots to fill out a Personal Goal, and a Football Goal. Under those spots is another line saying "To achieve my goal I need to:" I'm going to tell the kids you can take this as a joke or you can take it seriously. It is all about what you want to get out of it. Everyone is going to have to fill out the slip and return it to me.

I think by better understanding what the kids want to do I can organize some drills to help them achieve their goals and get better. I've seen a lot of improvement in some of the basic skills, but now it is just trying to put all the skills together that they kind of forget what they were taught.

I saw Jen and Anna tonight. I probably spent a little too much time over there than I should have. I got to get some of my reading for tomorrow started, but I would have liked to finish more of it. It was fun to see them. Anna opened up a little bit more tonight. It was kind of cool. She was interested in how the DAT went for me. That was cool. It seems like she is not as shy now that I have been hanging around more.

I need to write my goals too. I think the assignment is worth doing. So I'm going to do it.

oot and a boot

So tonight was good! Went out with Matt, Dan, Eric, and Jaron. It was Jaron's birthday. We just went to BoJames and sat. It was really really relaxing. I thought it was a good cap to the day.

Have class at 8:05. It is my senior year. I think I can live a lot :).

So I saw that the girl I like is overwhelmed. :(. I hope I didn't cause any of that. I'm not really worth it to be worried about. It isn't like I'm going anywhere anytime soon. I just hope I didn't cause any stress in anyone's life. To be redundant; I'm really not worth worrying about.

Okay well I should get to bed. It was a good first day of school.

I wish I wouldn't have gone to Studio Friday. It is amazing the things people say to me now. I got some flack tonight.

good afternoon

Okay! So if the cat isn't out of the bag already I did really well for not studying! I am sure that my score will be able to get me in to Dental School somewhere. It wasn't GREAT but it wasn't BAD.

I did really poorly on the math. Like throw up poorly. I thought that what I got on the math would be my overall score. I can't believe it. I didn't have enough time, and then I just started to guess, and I ended up guessing on 7 of the 40 math problems. I must have guessed incorrectly; on all of them.

My science and reading scores were AMAZING for what I thought I knew. I'm happy with them. I got to go to class too! There is this super cute girl in my gen ed. I was kind of (well really embarrased) when we went around sharing majors. I hate how people crack up my major to be a helluva lot more than it really is. I'm just a college student like the rest of you, and I bet I do the same amount of work too. Just because I choose to do math and science doesn't make it any different!

I am excited for tomorrow. Hell I'm excited for practice today and then going out tonight. The only bad thing is my 8:05 tomorrow :). That might suffer a bit, but after that I have work until noon and I am DONE! I love school. Okay so I need to start the job search tomorrow.

Here is what I have been thinking. I'm going to apply to Dental School, probably Iowa and a few others. I am also going to try Colorado. I want to go to live in Denver (or Colorado Springs) next year so I'll start looking for jobs there. I guess Chicago wouldn't be horrible either; I think I'll look for jobs in Colorado, Chicago, and Iowa. In that order of priority too. I know the company I want to work for, and I have my foot in the door with them. I just have to be less stuck up about myself. I didn't realize what I actually said in the interview. Yikes.

Okay; I best begin getting ready for some football. I need to be more vocal with the kids (not yelling, but saying more things they can improve upon). I kind of wait until everyone has gone though the drill so I don't single kids out. I think I can say more encouraging things during the drill, and then teach afterwards. I think it is really important that one doesn't pick out the things that are done poorly on kids that young. I should reward those who are doing it correctly, and then group coach the rest.

no asprin morning?

Okay. I'm going to be quick here.

I'm eating breakfast. My test is in 45 minutes. I feel good. I woke up today, and I just started telling myself everything was going to be okay. Today is probably not going to be the last day of my life; no matter how badly it goes. Also (and maybe unfortunately) it isn't going to be the worst day of my life either.

I'm going to take the test, and regardless of how I do I am going to have a wonderful day. I get to see everyone again today; I get to coach junior high football; and I get to go have fun with friends tonight. Not doing well on this test isn't going to be the end of my life.

Plus no matter what happens I'll always have someone by my side.

stressed

It is about 8:20 and our internet is out. I'm really really really really stressed right now. I thought putting the test on the first day of school would be a good idea. I guess that kind of backfired.

I know where I am going tomorrow, but I still need to email my professors that I won't be in class. :( I just want to give up right now. Things aren't really working my way anymore. I guess I didn't think the things I got involved in would be this stressful.

I wish women would just say that they weren't interested instead of ignoring men. I think it is perfectly fine if you're dating someone and you decide that they're not really your type to tell them you don't see it going that way. I can accept that. It is just more frustrating when you don't know what the hell is going on. I should just leave it, and if she is interested she can make the move.

I like her, but if it doesn't work out she is just a girl. There are plenty out there. I think I've had enough dating for awhile though. It is fun, but it is a lot of work. Sigh. I guess it is just a waiting game on this one. I'm sure something else will catch my eye within the next few days. I'm going to go try to study a little more. I want to get into bed by 10:00. We'll see if that happens.

I'll post this when the internet comes back on.

what have i got to lose?

I studied a bit today. I don't think that it is going to help :(. I just looked at some of the practice test, and I can get it down to two answers, but that would mean I wouldn't do that well.

I finished the rest of the wine I had at dinner with Christie tonight. It was good wine.

Jen and Anna came over and we made a cheesecake. They saved me from a hellish day. It has just been really frustrating with what happened last night, and the stress of this test. I spent most of the day looking at job opportunities in my dream city. If I don't go to dental school right away I am going there. I also looked into Jeeps. :-P There are a few that I could buy this year, but we'll see. I need to get my money lined up if I want to buy one. I'm definitely looking at a used one.

I am pretty set on going to dental school, but I just don't want to go next year. I want to go and have all the fun that I should have had while I was here for the first three years. I also need to get away from Iowa City. It just is bleh. I don't mind being here, but I need to get away from the past.

I feel like I have a lot to say, but just can't get it out right now. Funny how that is sometimes.

My tattoo still looks sexy :-P.

interesting morning

I need to get through Monday. Once this test is over things will be a lot less stressful. One less thing to worry about.

Also once school starts I'm going to be really busy. Three jobs plus schoolwork, and then football season comes around :). Exciting. I'm just frustrated right now. Last night was really really bad.

Dan and I went to Studio for the show, and guess who was there. Yep. Alison. It is like I just can't get away. She was drunk and tried to talk to me. I just don't want to deal with that. I don't have a problem talking to her, but it would be nice if she was sober. I just went to have fun, but then people start pointing fingers and questioning me again. Grow up.

I think it is one of the most frustrating things I've experienced. Standing in a gay bar having your ex-girlfriend turn around and point at you from across the bar and talk to her friends. I wish I got a little more respect than that. Especially after all I did for her.

I'm also stressed out about the girl I like. I really like her, but I have no clue what is going on.

Last night just brought me down. What my ex did really hurt; a lot.

once before

I don't know if I should do it. I've had a bit to drink tonight, but it is tempting. I feel like all the progress I made this summer was flipped upside down tonight. The pill right in front of me is tempting.

I don't know what to do. I just want to get out of this place. I've done my best a few times now, and it just hasn't been good enough. Will someone just take me for who I am? I don't think that I'm ever going to find what I want in a girl. It just doesn't seem like it will happen.

I fucking should just take the pill. Who fucking cares. It would better to be done with this shit than have to live through it. Fuck this shit.

csi and friends, these things i know

Practice today was pretty darn long. We had an early release day, but we ended up handing out equipment to the 7th graders until around 6:00. It was fun, but it was just a long day. We had to keep moving pads around and trying to find clips for the ones that were missing them.

I kind of have a headache now.

I got my computer back from Alison tonight. At first it was the most awkward moment ever. I rang the doorbell, walked in, and everything was just like it would have been. Her cat walked by, and her parents said, "Look who is here!" in the same kitty voice. It was like a big slap in the face. I honestly didn't know what to do. It wasn't like I could just act like I did back then. It isn't the same between us at all.

Transferring her files took a lot longer than I thought it would. It kind of made things even more awkward. Finally I just suggested we go get something to eat because I was going to get a Papa Murphy's to bake at home so I'd have food for the next few days.

After tonight I still feel the same way that I did since we had the talk a long time ago. I think that is a good thing by all means.

My room is a mess right now. I can't really understand why I have crap lying all over. It is a little ridiculous considering my room is normally sparkling clean.

Tomorrow night will be a blast. I don't know the exact details about how it is going to go down, but it should be fun! I best get to bed here.

soundtrack of my summer

Summer is almost over, and I thought I'd post some songs that I feel go with each of the months. They aren't perfect, but they do a pretty good job.

I hope you enjoy!

May
Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most


June
3 Doors Down - Let Me Be Myself


July
Five Times August - First Time For Everything


August
Colbie Caillat - Bubbly

Today was fun. I don't feel like writing. Good night.

exhausted

I'm about ready to fall asleep. Today was fun and very very tiring.

I got up and went out to OPL today so I could take a few pictures for a poster I'm working on for them. The other three posters I made for them are pretty darn awesome. I think this one is going to top it. The poster is going to be the L-29 (the new jet) flying over the Old Capital.

I got to go up in the Stearman today and fly over Iowa City. It was amazing. I got to see pretty much all of campus, and then we flew over the Coralville Dam, and part of Coralville. I took a picture of my apartment while we were up there! It was pretty darn exciting.

Practice today was intense. I kind of felt rushed and didn't really have a great perception of time with the receivers, but all the rest of the drills went really really well. The receiver drills worked out okay, but I didn't get to as many routes as I could have. I am more concerned about the fundamentals (stance, and blocking) at this point. The routes will come along well, but we'll probably be running the ball a lot, and blocking on the ends is going to be key.

I think conditioning was fun for the kids (yeah, I know right?!). We did Deadman Hurdles. I got into it quite a bit. My team lost the first race, but then we went ahead and won the second. It was a hoot just getting out there and yelling words of encouragement. :-P I'm one of the younger coaches so I get to do that. I had my stern moments too. The kids just need some discipline sometimes. Wear the helmet and the straps. Keep your mouthpiece in at all times during drills. Just safety stuff.

I worked on my dental application tonight too. It was frustrating. I need to get one more thing done and then I can send it in. I am just like blarg. I think that was more of a headache than anything. I feel like it has gotten better, but I don't know.

Coda is in my lap right now. He makes me happy. I'll post a picture here of him. I think I'll include one of the campus too.

I'm going to save my other thoughts that I just wrote and deleted for another night. I might be jumping the gun a bit.

i got a new bear!

I don't really feel like writing much right now.

Today was the first day of practice. I think it was fun for the kids to get their helmets. They're excited about the offense.

The coaches meeting was good too. I got some information as well as two new shirts.

Jen took me to Kohl's tonight too! I had to get some new shorts and Aaron had the car. I ended up getting them, and there was a bear that was so adorable. I had to buy him. I named him Coda too! I'll post a picture sometime. I was so happy when I got him. The lady at the checkout asked, "So who's the bear for?" I replied, "Me (half blushing and half a big kid smile)."

Oh em gee. Tonight is going to be a good night of rest. New bear in my bed! Now I have two! My childhood teddy and Coda. :-P.

Busy day tomorrow. Nighty night.

there's a first time for everything

I haven't really been on top of writing. This is probably going to be how it is once school starts. This week I should be able to get in quite a few times. Today was good.

It is fun to wake up and see someone special next to you. Especially if she is still sleeping. You can just sit there and look at her and it makes you smile. There is just something about her eyes too.

I hope I'm good enough for her. Sometimes I don't really know what to think. I guess it is the whole lacking of self confidence sometimes. I don't really think I should get into this here.

I mowed my parent's lawn today. I was supposed to go home and get the papers everyday for them. So I went home yesterday and today to get them, and I mowed the lawn because they were out of town. I was kind of hoping that my dad wouldn't notice until I left so it would be a surprise. He did though. I don't really want any credit for it. It was just mowing the lawn.

I ate dinner at the liner today with Nanci. We hadn't talked in a week. I lost her number when my other phone died. I meant to call her earlier and see what was going on in her life, but it just didn't happen. I got her number again. It was fun to catch up. Sounds like she is doing well preparing for the GRE.

We also sat on the steps of the Old Cap. That is our favorite spot. Mine too. We used to sit there Sophomore year between classes and listen to music on our iPods and just rest. It was a good time. Now we go there and just shoot the breeze every now and then. It is a good stress reliever for both of us. Sometimes it is just good for both of us to talk about relationships we have going on.

I played the song that is a perfect description of how I feel right now. I can't find it on YouTube to put it on here or I would. It is wonderful.

Matt and I also went over to Jennifer's again. We watched the Olympics and just had a good time. Since Christie didn't want the rest of the cheesecake I made I just took it over to Jen to eat. We each had a piece, yum. I'm glad I don't have to have that in my fridge. It would be gone, and it would not be good for me. I am proud of my first cheesecake! It was kind of scary when it came out of the oven, but it eventually went back to a normal height. Christie seemed to like it too! :) That was the most exciting part, and then the way that she said that I was the best part of dinner too!

Well I need to get to bed so I can wake up in a bit for my meeting. I also have to study some more of the playbook. I only looked at the offensive stuff this afternoon. I think I'm going to like the style of offense; especially since I get to coach the backs and receivers.

vitality

I suppose I should write a quick little blurb. A lot of my friends are getting back into town. It is a lot of fun! It is good to see them again. I'm starting to get a taste of how wonderful this year is going to be. I guess I should recap the last day or so because I am not sure if I'll be writing tonight.

Yesterday I had a wonderful dinner. It was a little hot in the apartment, but the company was good. It was fun to cook for her! I hope she liked it. She said she did, but most people wouldn't tell you if it were bad due to being polite.

We then visited some of her friends downtown :). It was someone's birthday so that made it a good deal. I only spent $15. Five to get in, five on two drinks, and five on a Pita for us to share afterwards. She introduced me to cucumbers two weeks ago, and I like them in the pita. Yum.

We shared it back at her place, and she answered my question in the cutest way possible. I wanted to know if she liked my dessert (Cheesecake) or dinner (Chicken) better, and I had been asking her all night. She was teasing me by not answering, and it was fun. When we got back I asked her one last time, "What was the best part about dinner; dinner or dessert?" She answered, "You." It made me feel really really special. I think it was the best thing she said to me all night.

I gave her a few back massages too. I like doing that for the people I like. She gave me one too. It was amazing. She is so adorable. She gave that laugh quite a bit last night too :).

This morning I had to hustle to get back because Jen was going to Des Moines and we had to pick up her couch. It barely fit in the van. We moved my old futon out onto the porch too. I love it there. It was good to just sit out on such a nice day and chat.

I went to Kohl's and Wally World this afternoon. I got coaching supplies, and then two shirts and new underwear! I had to get more. I don't really have enough to cover as long as my other clothes last. I won't get into it, but maybe Lindsay will be lucky enough to spot me again, and you can ask her about it! I still can't stop laughing about that.

Tonight dinner with Matt. It will be good. Bennigan's!!! My favorite. Yum. I'm going to shower, and then get into one of my new shirts.

poster child

I got a lot done today! Except by doing so I created more things that have to be done tomorrow. I guess it is okay. I get to pick up the playbook tomorrow. It should be good to start looking at some of the schemes for the season.

I also found out that I am coaching with Kris. It should be a lot of fun; he is a really upbeat guy and knows what to do to get the best out of kids. I think it should be fun. I still need to buy some items.

Today I also went to the bookstore and bought some books for classes. I went early so I could get the used ones and save money. I still need two books, but they weren't in yet. I also had to get "Tuesdays with Morrie". I'm excited to get to read it again.

I gave in and bought a new Big Shot today. Aaron said my one that has a broken strap has a lifetime warranty, but I figure having two backpacks isn't going to be that bad. I should probably send it in to get it fixed. I mean that backpack lasted me over seven years. I'm sad to see it go, but I'm welcoming in the new one. It was $100. Ow. When I bought my old Big Shot it was $40 (bought it on sale). This one has a little more bling to it. I can't believe how many pockets it has. I won't ever use them all.

I also got the poster situation taken care of at OPL. I had to run out there this morning to get the files, and then the printer was broken at CCAD. Luckily the posters got done and my boss was happy. I'm glad that the people at CCAD are really helpful. I don't know what I would do without them.

Olympics were good tonight as well. The women's all around turned out well for the Americans. I'm really glad to see that all of the athletes aren't upset or crying that they got second place. They're really good sports, and for the stage that they are on it is really hard to believe that some of them don't have hard feelings. I guess the closest was the 4x100 Men's Freestyle in swimming, but that rift was probably created before the event even ran.

Tomorrow night should be fun. I get to cook dinner for someone! I am really excited. Plus my last day of work for the summer internship! Tomorrow will be a good day. I'm going to get to bed here so I can function :-P.

donde esta el autobus

I missed the bus into work today. I kind of slacked off too.

I got a text right as I was getting ready for my nap after I got home from work. It made me smile. Just like I was in the picture with my mom and dad.

I love them. We went to a family dinner tonight. It was good. I also went and looked at their new house afterwords. It is coming along well. I love the view of the backyard. I took a picture on my cell phone.

I went over to Jen's tonight. It was good to let her get some things out. We ended up in her room talking and she kept texting her 31 year old boyfriend.

I am going to get into bed here after I brush my teeth and get into my underwear. Hopefully I won't run into Lindsay in the kitchen again. :-P That was funny.

So I was just in my underwear in the kitchen and turned on the light and there was Lindsay. She kind of gave this look; it was funny. I guess whatever. It isn't like I am gross or anything.

I am about ready for bed. The rules meeting was good. I have to write down the dates that I attended it so I get credit for my "re-certification." I saw Marv though. He is a good guy. He bought treats/snacks/pop for all the coaches and referees. That was nice. I got a diet dew and a M&M cookie as I left. Probably a bad idea since I took Jen her b-day stuff.

I gave her a card, an ice cream cake, and some champagne. She knew about the cake, but I just thought I'd surprise her with a little something else. Anna and I had more cake than Jen did though. That skinny girl. It was yummy. I kind of felt bad because I forgot that one of her roommates is allergic to wheat. She told me at Christie's birthday party, but I was kind of intox at the time and didn't remember. I should have brought something else for her to have.

It was hilarious when Shana showed up. She was like, "Yeah you made it because you're the culinary baker kind of guy right?" It made me laugh. I haven't seen Shana for a long time, and she knew that. Well I hope Jen enjoys her cake.

Tomorrow dinner with my mommy and daddy! Exciting! I think if I can make it through tomorrow I'll be home free. Not too many days of work left, and then the fun starts. I have a few things to knock out tomorrow, but they should be pretty straight forward.

I got rid of the ball tonight as well. I'm a little nervous. Haha she just called.

hollywood

Today was interesting. My boss still isn't back from China. Well he could be on his way, but has given no indication of when he will return. The office lady and I kind of have a joke that he won't. We'll see.

I got to talk a bit on the phone today. It was good. I really like talking to other people. First I talked to Jen for awhile. Just kind of shot the breeze. I asked her if she wanted me to make her a cake for her birthday; she didn't turn that down. I made that this evening. I would have made her a cake anyways, but she was in Rome. I'll probably take it to her tomorrow (or if she calls later tonight).

I also got to talk to Matt. He'll be back here Thursday and Saturday. It will be good to have some friends back in town. I like hanging out with Matt, Ben, and Jen. I really miss freshman year. I think we can get it going again. We all kind of went different directions after freshman year, and I think that I can kind of help us all pull it back together. I know for a fact that each of us misses those times. No reason that they can't happen again.

I also spent the evening watching the debut of Aaron Rodgers. I was impressed, but it was just the preseason. The Packers' defense was amazing. I can't believe the plays that they were able to make, but again it is only the preseason.

The Olympics were good too. I really like watching swimming. It is kind of like track. The 4x100m Freestyle last night was T&A. Man. It got me yelling and out of my seat, and I'm 13 hours away from the damn thing.

Another thing I like about the Olympics is the Morgan Freeman commercials. I love his voice, and I enjoyed "The Bucket List." He just has that inspirational voice.

I came back in to talk to Steve, but he had to go to bed. He was having a bad evening. Wish I could have been there for him, but there were just other things that I personally had to take care of tonight.

I'm glad I got to take care of them.

Tomorrow night I have a rules meeting for football; I guess that is the only thing on my agenda.

TExAs for two

Dinner was really fun! I kind of felt a little bad because she had to come and pick me up, but Aaron and Lindsay went to my parent's house for dinner.

I suggested a few places and she hadn't been to Texas Road House so we went there. It was a wonderful! I got a steak. I don't eat steak a lot so I figured I'd go for it. I really enjoyed the conversation though. It flowed really well and it wasn't hard for me to talk to her at all. Afterwards we were pulling out and we went by my old Junior High so I could show her where I was going to coach football. I'm surprised she was up for it since it was out of the way. It was fun though how she was willing to see it. That means a lot to me.

The car ride was good too; we had good conversation throughout the night. I really felt comfortable, and that is something that is really important to me. I can't reinforce that enough.

When she dropped me back of I got her sister's address to send her a "Thank You" for the gift she gave me last Saturday. It was small, but I just wanted to send it because it is the right thing to do. I also left her (not her sister) a surprise when I got out. She just got a new car, and the last time I was at her place a Happy Bunny poster was pointed out to me. So I got her a Happy Bunny air freshener. It wasn't expensive, but hopefully she'll like it. I just slipped it out of my pocket and slid it behind my back before I got out. I hope she finds it ;). I'm not sure she will find it right away because she didn't notice it when I got up.

Oh, and she gave me the cute laugh when she picked me up. I said, "You should have gotten the convertible!" That got it out of her :). I like that laugh it is so adorable.

Tomorrow is Monday :(. It is my last week of work though. Hooray. I'm going to go watch some of the Olympics, and then head to bed.

sweaty

I am beat. I helped Jen move her stuff from my parent's house to her house today. It was good because I got to talk to her about everything that has gone on in her life. It sounds exciting yet stressful at the same time. I hope her and I can hang out more. She liked my tattoo! After the first trip I pulled up my shirt and said, "So what do you think?" She smiled. She likes it even though she was very skeptical about me getting it. Well she didn't think I should get it.

This morning my phone died. I was really lucky. The lady at the store gave me a new one even though the warranty expired on the old one. I am two weeks out from getting a new phone too! Yikes. I think it was a good thing that I lost all the numbers in my phone. I don't remember anyone's number, and I don't think I'm going to put any new ones in it for awhile because I will just be getting a new phone in September. I can deal; if I really need to call someone I'll get a hold of them. I called a few friends and have the important numbers right now. It should get me through the next few weeks.

I'm a little worried right now! Eek! We'll see what happens. I shouldn't say too much. I should just go shower and get ready like it is going to happen.

so get them checked

Today I taped an ankle at the coaching class. I know how to now! That is exciting, but it is a lot harder than it looks.

I had Panera again after. The last time I had Panera was with Miles when Rachel worked there. We used to go so he could see her at work. I got the same sandwich I got back when Miles and I went. It is a wonderful sandwich, and I really like the place. Bacon Turkey Bravo! Gouda cheese, yum.

After class I ran out to the mall and to Hy-Vee. I got half a gallon of milk, but when I got home Aaron had already bought a gallon. Whoops. We'll drink it, but I should have looked in the fridge. I got a new cookbook at the mall! I'm excited! I was going to buy one that is all desserts, but the amount of stuff in there wasn't worth it when I could get one with other stuff in it for the same price. I think it was a good deal. It was tempting to buy the dessert one though. Maybe next time.

I almost bought another hat today. There is this one at Scheels with the old herky on it. It is grey and they didn't have my size last time. It was really tempting to buy, but I thought I shouldn't since I purchased the cookbook.

I had a lot of comments on my shirt today! I wore my "I <3 Breasts" shirt. I get a lot of looks when I wear it. I wear it partly because of the attention I get, but also to make a point. I think I've hashed that out in an earlier writing so I won't go over it again.

I was doing some more thinking about what I wrote last night. I'm kind of scared. It is going to be hard to put myself out there again. I just don't want to get down the road so far and then have the same thing happen. It is kind of a risk reward thing right now. My gut is saying just do it, and my mind is a little tentative. I think I'm going to go with my gut this time. Like the title of the post I made the other night, "Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow." It is never going to happen for me if I don't put myself out there, and that really is the bottom line.

This summer is kind of winding down, and I was thinking about what has been happening lately, and what was happening at the beginning. I think one of my favorite quotes comes into play:

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. -Douglass Adams

I don't think it needs any further explanation. It pretty much sums it up.

i walk the boards alone tonight

I'm really sleepy. Class in a bit again.

Dan and I had a good time. I kind of like Thursday nights better. I like the martini's better than the shots and well drinks. More expensive, but well worth it. At least the atmosphere.

We missed the drag show~! We're going to be there Sunday though. Free pizza. Studio is a pretty happening place. I was surprised about how busy it was. I guess whatever I had thought about it was incorrect.

I ran into a few people from high school tonight. They asked about Alison. I gave them the truthful response; that it is over. She is a great person, and I have no regrets and I can't say anything bad about her. It is kind of like the Favre saga. Things were done and said on both sides that just make it so it won't work.

I dislike how people ask about it, but there really isn't anything that I can do about it. I'm interested in other things at this moment. I'm really interested in something long term. I'm not the type of guy to go after one nighters. There really isn't a point to that. I just want to find someone that likes me for who I am, and likes to see how much I care about her.

I just need the chance. It doesn't matter how long it takes; I just need someone patient enough to let me be myself and see who I really am. I'm not asking for anything more than that. I'm not a heart-breaker. I just want someone who is as interested in me as I am in them.

I'm going to go to bed. I had a lot to drink tonight, but I feel like I was able to get out some of my real feelings.

drag queen

Coaching class got out early again! Yay. I'm excited for the season to start! I have a few meetings next week and such but that is about it. I have a little more responsibility too. It is kind of scary the things that could happen. The class is really a good thing to do.

I'm going out with Dan tonight. Dan the man. We're going to have a good time; he just finished his finals, and I've got one more week of work left! I think that is exciting.

Today I got my driver's license upgraded to a horizontal one. It is spiffy. It was prefect timing too; I went to do that then finished dinner, and someone called me so I got to talk on the phone until class started. Worked out really well.

I have to head downtown in a bit. I don't know if I will try to catch the cambus or just hoof it. Hoofing it might be okay. It is a nice day out. We don't have the AC on right now.

Olympics start(ed) today as well! I love the Olympics; especially track. Go hurdlers!

Tonight should be interesting. We're going to a drag show. I've never been to one, and I'm kind of excited. It should be a good experience for me. If anything interesting happens I'll be sure to write about it.

I'm going to throw on some tunes and get ready to head out.

"throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow"

I was looking through old photos the other night, and these two stuck out to me.

I love you all!





I just wanted to share them. I feel like I am that little kid again right now. I'm just so happy with what I've done with my life. I'm learning to be me; the greatest gift that I have ever received.

mmm... football

Dinner is in the oven. Football tonight! Okay. So it is only preseason, but it is so much fun to watch. I watched the game on Canton, OH the other day. It was pretty amazing.

I can't believe I'm going to be a football coach too! It still hasn't really sunk in. I'm sure it will in a week when I'm out there on the field. I need to go buy a whistle and a clipboard. I think I'm going to feel like special stuff!

I made dinner tonight with my new cooking utensil! It was kind of funny. I chuckled. It still has another 20 minutes in the oven, but I was proud that I actually cooked tonight instead of throwing in a pizza.

Jen called today, and I talked to her for a bit. Sounds like she had a great time overseas. It was really nice to get to hear what she has been up to. She has to get her stuff out of my place this week to. Monday I think is the day that we decided on.

I am a little sleepy right now. I don't think all the sleep has caught up with me from last week. I'm looking forward to tomorrow night with Dan. It was going to be our usual Thursday night but he has finals tomorrow.

I might be in the mood to write more tonight. We shall see. Football and then studying first.

coach johnson

Today was wonderful. I got the coaching job!! I did some looking around to see what would be happening with my one class that had a conflict, and I can say that since Kader is teaching it there won't be a problem.

I am pumped for it. I got two new jobs this week, and I am excited for both to start in two weeks!!

I went home and did laundry today as well. I got my personal statement written for grad school. I just have to do some editing on it tomorrow. It is coming together well.

Not much else really happened today. Oh I took a nap. I guess that counts :).

and you were holding him, and him, and him, and her

I am sleepy again. I have to do some stuff tonight. No more procrastination. I think I'll start by turning on the fan next to me.

Today I found out where the package got lost at. Apparently it got forwarded to my other job, and sat there for a week. I got a call saying a package had been sitting there for awhile. Go figure? It was a mistake; the whole address didn't get printed on the label, and they probably just looked up where I am listed at on the University and assumed it went there.

So now I have extra oscilloscope probes. It would probably cost more to send them back than we'd get refunded.

My battery ran out on my ipod today. I was kind of sad since I was enjoying the music!

I got a new job today as well!! So now I have something lined up for the mornings, and the greatest thing is it won't interfere with coaching if I get the coaching job! I love it! My life has changed a lot in the past few months, and I'm finally getting to do things that I want to do! It is funny; the song title "I Lost Myself in Search of You" seems to be true. That song just makes me laugh.

I am excited for the next few months of my life. I'll get to be what I should have been freshman year until now. I am so excited.

I also got my tattoo looked at. It looked good; no touch up needed. That is good news!

wasting all of my life just thinking of you

My sleep patterns are definitely not caught up. I am really really sleepy right now, and I got the most sleep in a long time last night. I'll get more tonight.

I got paid today! Well not all of it, but I got three fourths of it. I think it is enough to make me work in August. If he pays me the second installment then I will only have August to hold him for, and that is about the worth of the laptop that he got for me to use. I'll hold the laptop until he pays me. It has all of the work on it.

I got the other job that I applied for. That was kind of a short job search. I think I will take it, but I want to see what the hours are that he will need me for. That will probably be the determining factor.

I got my ears lowered today. I had a coupon for it. $9.99. The lady kind of did a quick job this time. I don't know why, but it looks okay. I just got it cut so I can put goop in it if I want to.

I can't stop thinking about her now. I was talking to Ben about it, and he was like, "So how did that get started?" I told him I had no clue, and it was completely unexpected. I am really sleepy.

sunday afternoon

Yesterday was interesting! I had a lot of fun.

Went to the Field House for bday pitchers! It was just us for awhile, and I really liked it because we got to talk without distractions or the concerns about entertaining others. Her sister is funny. She got me a gift from when they went shopping; I thought it was cute.

One of my engineering friends also had a birthday. She showed up and we talked for a bit. I think she had a good time too; I bought her a bday shot. I had to! Everyone needs to have a shot bought for them on the birthday. I bought a good one too! It was nice and smooth.

I got to dance too! It was super fun. I'm not the best dancer, but I don't think that really matters at this point. Some of the people out there are way crazier, and make bigger idiots of themselves than I do. I just kind of keep it low key. I guess I haven't been that drunk yet. I'm kind of scared ;). I had a threat that someone was going to get me that drunk :).

I also had my virgin Pita Pit. Well we shared it. There was no way I was going to eat a whole one. It was pretty good. She got cucumbers in it, and they were decent. I've been trying more things lately, and I found some new things that I like more.

We got back to her place, and I was going to leave again like last time, but that didn't really happen. We spent some time together while her sister distracted her friend Karl, and then it started storming. I was a little too stubborn insisting that I needed to go, but they wouldn't let me. I just ended up crashing there. It kind of made me laugh. I slept in the same bed with her and her sister. o.O. I moved to the floor at 6:00 or so because she wasn't sleeping well, and I wasn't either.

We even got up in time for me to get to my class on time. I got a ride home and then hopped in the shower quickly.

I am really sleepy right now. I don't think I got in bed until 4:00 again. Tonight I will catch up on my sleep. I think I will start right now with a nap.

I'm happy with the direction things are going right now.

Oh, and I ran into Aaron and Lindsay on the Old Capital steps. It was CUTE!

wishboard

I updated my wish board today!! I took down my tattoo healing wish. It is done, and it looks amazing. I would get it all over again if I had the choice. I wish I would have gotten it when I was 18.

I put up a picture of what I want to be for Halloween. I'm not going to give it away quite yet, but it is hilarious! I just want to put it up there because I need to take care of a few things for it to happen. It isn't like I can just go out and buy the costume. It has to be made from a lot of different items.

As for the rest of the board it remains the same.

done early

We got done early today. I made it to class too! I just took two ibuprofen and had a granola bar, and I was out the door.

I like the teacher. He is really upbeat, and we go over a lot of good information. It is kind of like he is shedding his pearls of wisdom to us, and the class is very open to talking about ideas. I think there are a lot of shy people in it, but I think it is good, and I am learning a lot.

I have an assignment to do, but I think since I got back really late last night I will take a nap and do it before I go out again tonight. Last time for a few days. Sad, but also it means I will be able to catch up on sleep. I haven't had much, and today I didn't really get back too early. I think it was a little before 4:00 when I went to bed.

Time flies when you're having fun. I can't stop thinking about her!

amazing

Oh em gee.

make your own destiny

Okay, I have to get ready for my class soon. I am excited. I think I am going to go to Wendy's first. I'll probably leave around 4:15 or so since I don't have anything going on.

I think it is going to be interesting! It was just the other day that I smelled the scent of football. It was a strong smell, and it just brought me back to those wonderful days. Also; today I was walking through the sun on the way back from my meeting (which went well!) and it just felt like football.

I really want the coaching position. I think I would be capable of helping out with quarterbacks/running backs/receivers on offense, and defensive backs on defense. I played all the positions at some point in high school. Running back was my favorite, and I wish I would have stuck with it for my Junior and Senior year. It was unfortunate that some players got hurt, but I would have been able to see some playing time.

I feel really bad. I promised someone I would go have fishbowls with them tonight, and I thought they meant later, but they meant this evening. I need to make it up to them somehow. I really want to go, but I have to take this coaching class, and it lasts till 10:30. I'm going to see them later, but I feel like a horrible person. Usually I live up to my word when I say I'm going to be able to do something. I hope another night will work.

I need to take a change of clothes. I am really sleepy right now. I almost missed my meeting today because I was napping. I think these nights are catching up a bit. I think I'll have time to recover Sunday night.

Tonight and tomorrow night will be super fun.

cloud nine

I can't believe it. :) Tonight was so much fun. Wow. It was so good I don't really care about work right now. Even though I'm not getting paid. Money isn't going to buy me happiness.

That is for sure. I'm so excited :). I feel like a little kid right now.

I didn't spend that much money tonight; which is a good thing.

Dan was pretty funny! He went home with someone! I met his roomiee too. Her name is Chewy. I don't really remember why they call her that, but her real name is Jessica. She was a nice girl.

I have some stuff to do before I go to bed. I'll write more tomorrow (later today). I have a few meetings tomorrow, and then the coaching class at night. Then I get to go out again!!

I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep!