this is your song your greatest mistake

Today was relaxing. I needed it to. Sometimes I just worry too much about the future. This week is going to be super busy. I went to dinner with Ben tonight. It was good to talk about some football and catch up on things a little. I invited Matt and Eric too but they were just going to grill burgers.

I know Matt mentioned something about it earlier but he didn't call or anything. I would have loved to go over there this afternoon and then have dinner and watch tonight's game with them. I just didn't want to be sitting around here all day so I asked Ben if he wanted to get food. It worked out okay.

This week should be fun. Packers/Swing Dancing tomorrow; first Junior High game Tuesday. Wednesday is free. Second game Thursday. Friday is kind of up in the air right now. I'm going to stop by Amy's gathering for a bit but don't know how long I'll be able to stay. Hopefully the whole time but I can't really control how other people will react towards me. Again not something I'm going to worry about because I can't control it. I think it would be kind of sad if anyone took sides (either side that is). I'm happy with the direction my life is heading right now (except for I'm really confused about what the hell I want to do when I finish this year).

So a perfect week for me would be Packers victory, a great effort out of my kids (win or lose I just want them to do their best), finish my homework, have a good time seeing old friends Friday, and an Iowa victory in Volleyball and Football. Oh, and it would be nice to sort out some of the things I have going on in search of my life for next year. I don't think that is something I'll decide over night. It is just overwhelming to be applying to schools and starting a job search. I don't even know which I want to do.

I also have to figure out if I want to do a birthday gathering. I am unsure of which day to do it. We leave for Pittsburgh on my birthday so it is either the 18th or sometime the week afterwards. I'm leaning towards the 18th right now. Not sure yet though. I have a few more days to decide.

I was deeply in thought about my twenty second today. It doesn't seem to phase me. A lot of my friends that have turned twenty two have said they feel old. I don't have this feeling. I don't feel like I am any older than I was last year. I don't know why people have such a resentful feeling about getting older. I definitely don't. I'm really comfortable with it at this point; it is just a number.