I've been a little on edge lately. I had a disturbing dream earlier this week and it just bothers me. It sucks because it isn't fair to anyone, and you can't change how you feel. I won't go into details, but my girlfriend kissed someone else in my dream. I wish I could just put things behind me, but there really isn't anything I can do.

I haven't ever really been the most secure person. I've been told I'm cute, but not that often because of the circumstances. I'm just worrying a lot lately and I shouldn't be. I'm afraid things will just happen all over again. It has almost been a year.

If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.

-Rotarian

I don't understand it, but she just sent me a text message and it makes me feel a lot better about this. She knows I worry about it too; I just don't think she knows how much.

all that we could be

Aw. I miss someone.

I had a lot of fun today, but I am worn out. The next two days won't be that bad, but I still have to get up early tomorrow.

I'm struggling with emotions that I have never felt before right now. I don't really know how to deal with them... at all. I am at this place in my life where I couldn't really ask for much more. Yes; I'd like to have a few more close friends, but that is about it. There is just this one thing that is bothering me and it isn't anything that I can ask for to change. It is just a feeling that I have right now.

I'm sure time will sort things out for me, but I'm not sure that is something I have right now.

I try to believe like I believed when I was five... when your heart tells you everything you need to know.

-Lucy Liu

comfort food

I didn't sleep well last night so I ended up sleeping all day today. I woke up at 4:00 wondering what happened. I have a few things I need to get done; I started on them but there are some items that I just can't stop thinking about.

I just had one of those moments where someone says something to you that really sticks out, and then you just run over it again and again in your mind wondering what one meant by it. It is bugging me right now.

I really don't know where my life is headed right now. All I am sure of is that I'm going to graduate in May and begin Dental School in August. I'm really excited for those two opportunities in my life. Sometimes I just need to look back at where I was months ago and see how far I have made it.

Finally! I am extremly happy with the last few days. I got my girl back ;-). She made me Swedish pancakes when I woke up this morning. They were really good; I was very impressed. I didn't even mention that we went back to where I took her for our first date Sunday. I'm glad she shows an interest in showing me things (like her pancakes). She also brought some items back from Chicago for me to have with her. I'm looking forward towards them.

Tonight was amazing. I took a nap after I got back from her place this morning and then made food all afternoon. I got to use my new knives for the first time, and my pie turned out really well. I forgot to take a picture before we dove into it, but I put one up of it. I don't know what it is but I love cooking and baking so much. It makes me happy that she likes my cooking and especially my desserts.

Cuddling was good too (even though she stole my teddy bear; rawr).

one of those days

I am very frustrated right now.

I just felt like I was picked on a lot today. I'm not happy about it either. Sometimes you just have enough and you're ready to be done with it. What happened last night doesn't really help either.

I just suck at the whole self confidence thing. It was kind of weird; last night was the first time that someone actually checked me out at a bar. I felt special, but it really made me miss my girlfriend. I have two more days to go until she gets back. I think I miss her more than she misses me. I have never really missed anyone like I miss her; it really sucks.

I know the picking on me is all fun and games, but it just went to far today. I was actually looking forward to talking to her, but then everything I said got thrown back at me. Normally it is fine because it isn't everything I say, but today it really hurt me.

back from tampa

I got back from my mini-vacation to Tampa. It was the most amazing trip I've taken in awhile. I was surrounded by wonderful people, and I got to know some of them a little better.

I got to hang out with my girlfriend for a bit, and she made my New Year's the best ever. I'm lucky to have her. I wish we could have had more time together down there; I can't wait until she gets back!