once before

I don't know if I should do it. I've had a bit to drink tonight, but it is tempting. I feel like all the progress I made this summer was flipped upside down tonight. The pill right in front of me is tempting.

I don't know what to do. I just want to get out of this place. I've done my best a few times now, and it just hasn't been good enough. Will someone just take me for who I am? I don't think that I'm ever going to find what I want in a girl. It just doesn't seem like it will happen.

I fucking should just take the pill. Who fucking cares. It would better to be done with this shit than have to live through it. Fuck this shit.